When I was in high school, I wore a multi-colored tulle dress to prom. It became the inspiration behind my rainbow themed wedding. By the time I had met my husband, I already knew most of what I envisioned for our big day. And while he wasn’t thrilled about having a rainbow color scheme, he did agree to it, since it was so important to me.

During the wedding planning process, I always asked his opinion on things. He would share his thoughts on some elements- like our first dance song, and who would be his groomsmen- but with other things, like cake and menu options, he didn’t express a huge interest. However, the day we went for our taste tests and spoke to the vendors, suddenly, he became a wedding planner aficionado.

“I don’t care what the cake looks like,” he said. But then, as we sat at the table with the baker, he asked for a pen and paper. Within minutes, he had a detailed drawing of what he thought would look good. And then he shared what flavors he would like. And which one should be for the biggest layer. And whether or not we should use buttercream frosting. What happened to not caring?

I wasn’t bothered by his interest in getting more involved. I was just confused. But now I’m wondering, how many real “groomzillas” are out there? How many men dedicate hundreds of hours to planning their weddings the way women do? Making sure every last detail is in place, and that all the boxes are checked on the wedding “to do” list? How many men really care about being involved in planning, but are sitting back and letting their brides-to-be do all the work?

Do you know a real life groomzilla?

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