Since the day he was born, my son has had my heart. He’s a mama’s boy for sure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! He’s nearly 3 1/2 years old now (where has the time gone???) and still asks me to carry him sometimes. But because he’s so big (and I’m so not that strong), I usually tell him that I can’t hold him. It breaks my heart. It really does, because I love holding my babies! Every now and then, I’ll give in and lug him up to my neck, but it isn’t long before I have to put him down.

One thing I can still do, however, is hold his hand. Luckily this is something I can do forever. It’s something I plan to do forever. It’s something I hope to do forever.

You see, that’s the only way I’m able to “hold” my baby now. I remember when he first started walking, I would always grab his hand in the parking lot and tell him he needed to hold mine because cars were driving around. I instinctively try to hold it whenever I drop him off at school, even if we’re already in the building. And I reach for his hand anytime I just want to feel close to him. There have been a few times when I’ve tried to grab his hand and he pulls it away (fought back tears, that’s for sure). Then other times, he’ll ask me to hold it (insert happy dance here). I’ve also told him “no” on occasion when he asks to hold my hand because I want him to learn how to do things on his own, like go down the stairs. Or walk down the hallway.

But I’ve realized that sometimes, it’s better to just hold his hand because I might not get the chance again. Life is too short to worry about him becoming too dependent on me. I have faith that he’ll be fine, that he’ll learn how to do things on his own, even if he needs some assistance along the way. And so, because I love my boy so much, and I want to be connected to him as much as possible (except when I’m trying to shower), and I want him to know that I’m always here if he needs me, I’ll always hold his hand. Always.

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